7 Reasons to Seek Marriage Counseling

By Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP
 

Marriage rates supposedly are on the decline. While it’s an oft-repeated statistic that 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, that number has remained unchanged for the past 30 years. Divorce rates also vary with the partners’ level of education, religious beliefs, and many other factors.

But when divorce does happen, it results in difficulties for adults as well as children. For adults, divorce can be one of life’s most stressful life events. The decision to divorce often is met with ambivalence and uncertainty about the future. If children are involved, they may experience negative effects such as denial, feelings of abandonment, anger, blame, guilt, preoccupation with reconciliation, and acting out.

While divorce may be necessary and the healthiest choice for some, others may wish to try to salvage whatever is left of the union. When couples encounter problems or issues, they may wonder when it is appropriate to seek marriage counseling. Here are seven good reasons.

1. Communication has become negative.

Once communication has deteriorated, often it is hard to get it going back in the right direction. Negative communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling depressed, insecure, disregarded, or wanting to withdraw from the conversation. This can also include the tone of the conversation. It is important to remember that it’s not always what you say, but how you say it.

Negative communication can also include any communication that not only leads to hurt feelings, but emotional or physical abuse, as well as nonverbal communication.

2. When one or both partners consider having an affair, or one partner has had an affair.

Recovering from an affair is not impossible, but it takes a lot of work. It takes commitment and a willingness to forgive and move forward. There is no magic formula for recovering from an affair. But if both individuals are committed to the therapy process and are being honest, the marriage may be salvaged. At the very least, it may be determined that it is healthier for both individuals to move on.

3. When the couple seems to be “just occupying the same space.”

When couples become more like roommates than a married couple, this may indicate a need for counseling. This does not mean if the couple isn’t doing everything together they are in trouble. If there is a lack of communication, conversation and intimacy or any other elements the couple feels are important and they feel they just “co-exist,” this may be an indication that a skilled clinician can help sort out what is missing and how to get it back.

4. When the partners do not know how to resolve their differences.

I remember watching GI Joe as a kid. Every show ended with the phrase “now you know, and knowing is half the battle.” For me, that phrase comes to mind with this situation. When a couple begins to experience discord and they are aware of the discord, knowing is only half the battle. Many times I have heard couples say, “We know what’s wrong, but we just don’t know how to fix it.”. This is a perfect time to get a third party involved. If a couple is stuck, a skilled clinician may be able to get them moving in the right direction.

5. When one partner begins to act out on negative feelings.

I believe what we feel on the inside shows on the outside. Even if we are able to mask these feelings for a while, they are bound to surface. Negative feelings such as resentment or disappointment can turn into hurtful, sometimes harmful behaviors. I can recall a couple where the wife was very hurt by her husband’s indiscretions. Although she agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out, she became very spiteful. The wife would purposefully do things to make her husband think she was being unfaithful even though she wasn’t. She wanted her husband to feel the same pain she felt, which was counterproductive. A skilled clinician can help the couple sort out negative feelings and find better ways to express them.

6. When the only resolution appears to be separation.

When a couple disagrees or argues, a break often is very helpful. However, when a timeout turns into an overnight stay away from home or eventually leads to a temporary separation, this may indicate a need for counseling. Spending time away from home does not usually resolve the situation. Instead, it reinforces the thought that time away is helpful, often leading to more absences. When the absent partner returns, the problem is still there, but often avoided because time has passed.

7. When a couple is staying together for the sake of the children.

If a couple feels it is wise to stay together for the sake of the children, it may help to involve an objective third party. Often couples believe that they are doing the right thing when staying together actually is detrimental to the children. On the contrary, if the couple is able to resolve issue and move toward a positive, healthy relationship, this may be the best decision for all involved.

In my opinion, children should never be the deciding factor when couples are determining whether to stay together. I recall working with an adolescent who was having trouble in school. She was acting out and her grades were declining. After a few sessions she stated, “I know my parents really don’t like each other.” When I asked her why, she replied, “They are nice to each other, but they never smile or laugh like my friends’ parents.”

Children are generally very intuitive and intelligent. No matter how couples may think they are able to fake their happiness, most children are able to tell.

All marriages are not salvageable. In the process of marriage counseling, some couples may discover it is healthier for them to be apart. However, for those relationships that can be salvaged, and for those couples willing to commit to the process, marriage counseling may be able to remind them why they fell in love and keep them that way.

PREMARITAL COUNSELING

Overview

Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. Premarital counseling can help ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy relationship — giving you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage. This kind of counseling can also help you identify weaknesses that could become problems during marriage.

Premarital counseling is often provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists. These therapists have graduate or postgraduate degrees — and many choose to become credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Counseling might be offered through religious institutions as well. In fact, some spiritual leaders require premarital counseling before conducting a marriage ceremony.

Why it's done

Premarital counseling can help couples improve their relationships before marriage. You'll be encouraged to discuss topics related to marriage, such as:

• Finances
• Communication
• Beliefs and values
• Roles in marriage
• Affection and sex
• Desire to have children
• Family relationships
• Decision-making
• Dealing with anger
• Time spent together

Premarital counseling helps partners improve their ability to communicate, set realistic expectations for marriage and develop conflict-resolution skills. In addition, premarital counseling can help couples establish a positive attitude about seeking help down the road.

Keep in mind that you bring your own values, opinions and history into a relationship, and they might not always match your partner's. For example, family systems and religious beliefs vary greatly. Many couples have experienced very different upbringings with different role models for relationship and marriage. Many people go into marriage believing it will fulfill their social, financial, sexual and emotional needs — and that's not always the case. By discussing differences and expectations before marriage, you and your partner can better understand and support each other during marriage.

How you prepare

The only preparation needed for premarital counseling is to find a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT). Loved ones and friends might have recommendations. Your health insurer, employee assistance program, clergy, or state or local mental health agencies also might offer recommendations.

Before scheduling sessions with a specific therapist, consider whether the therapist would be a good fit for you and your partner. You might ask questions such as these:

• Education. What is your educational and training background? Are you licensed by the state? Are you credentialed by the AAMFT?
• Experience. What is your experience with premarital counseling?
• Treatment plan. How long is each session? How many sessions should I expect to have?
• Fees and insurance. How much do you charge for each session? Do you accept my insurance?

What you can expect

Usually, each of you will be asked to separately answer a written questionnaire to determine how you feel about each another and the relationship. These forms can also help identify any strengths, weaknesses and potential problem areas. Together, you and your counselor will interpret your results and discuss areas of common unhappiness or disagreement. You'll set goals with your partner to help overcome challenges.

In addition, your counselor might ask you and your partner questions to find out your unique visions for your marriage and clarify your expectations and desires for your marriage.

Remember, preparing for marriage involves more than throwing a party to celebrate an engagement. Take the time to build a solid foundation for your relationship.

Premarital Counseling: What It Is And Why You Should Do It?

In this article we'll answer questions like "What is premarital counseling?", "Do we need premarital counseling?" and more, while giving practical information on premarital counseling resources and how you and your future spouse could benefit from pre-marriage counseling provided by a licensed therapist.

Congratulations! You're engaged to the love of your life. As soon as you said "yes" or popped the question you were probably caught up in envisioning the perfect life the two of you will share together and how you would tackle the wedding plans. The benefits of premarital counseling were probably one of the farthest things from your minds. However, as the date draws nearer you may begin to wonder how it could help strengthen your relationship with your significant other.

Pre-marriage counseling is actually something you and your future spouse may want to consider as part of your plan to build the strong marriage and life together that you're so excited about. Think of it like this: you've just settled on your dream honeymoon location, you can see your toes in the sand of a five-star resort, but you're not just going to end up there without a little planning and preparation to make sure everything goes just right. Instead, you'll either take the time to painstakingly research places on your own or you could work with a travel professional who can help you through the process and ensure you'll have the honeymoon of your dreams.

Professional premarital counseling is a bit like planning your honeymoon with a travel agent; while you'd most likely still have a great and successful marriage on your own, if you work with a professional premarital counselor then you can ensure you're fully prepared for marriage to your partner and to tackle any lingering questions or issues you may struggle with.

Some premarital counseling statistics

While counseling before marriage may not be something a lot of couples discuss openly there are some statistics (healthresearchfunding.org, n.d.) that indicate it does help prepare couples for a successful marriage.

• Couples who underwent counseling before their wedding had a 30% higher marital success rate than those who did not
• 44% of couples who get married today agree to premarital counseling
• The median amount of time couples spend in premarital counseling before getting married: 8 hours

What these statistics help show is that even a limited amount of time of premarital counseling with a professional can make difference in the outcome of a marriage. And as we'll discuss in the next section of this article, a lot of the benefit of pre-marriage counseling stems from an emphasis on learning how to effectively communicate with your partner, even when you face differences in opinion or other issues.

So, what is premarital counseling?

According to the Mayo Clinic, the definition of premarital counseling is "counseling that helps couples prepare for marriage. Premarital counseling can help ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy relationship-giving you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage." In addition, counseling before marriage can also help couples identify weaknesses in their relationship that could potentially lead to problems or even the failure of a marriage. The Mayo clinic lists these topics as the primary focus of premarital counseling, and they can help give you some insight into what you can expect if you decide to prepare with counseling before marriage.

• Finances
• Communication
• Beliefs and values
• Marriage roles
• Affection, intimacy and sex
• Children and parenting
• Family relationships
• Decision making
• Dealing with anger
• Quality time spent together

Pre-marriage counseling is often provided by professionals over the course of just a few short sessions and may ask the couples to do a variety of activities and exercises both together and separately to better understand how they function together and their level of compatibility both in their current relationship and in their future marriage. These exercises may include a written test or questionnaire (which we will cover in an upcoming section of this article), acting out or responding to potential situations they may face in marriage (i.e. how to react to their spouse losing their job), creating marriage resolutions and goals, addressing issues that the couple has previously been avoiding, and identifying potential future causes of marital tension.

Different Types and Techniques of Premarital Counseling

Depending on your religious background, your reasons for seeking counseling before marriage, and the personality of you and your partner there are different types of pre-marriage counseling you can partake in. Choosing the right type of professional counseling for you and your significant other can greatly increase its effectiveness and the benefit you get out of the experience.

Religious premarital counseling - Many religious institutions require couples to attend some sort of counseling before performing the marriage ceremony. If you are planning on getting married in a house of worship check with whoever will be performing the ceremony beforehand to see what requirements they have. This can be a combination of different "secular" types, including group courses, one-on-one meetings with a religious advisor, and/or compatibility tests.

Online premarital counseling courses - If you and your partner prefer a more private experience there are online courses you can take. Online courses generally take no more than half a day and will help facilitate discussion with you and your partner and give thoughtful information about how to anticipate and positively respond to potential conflicts in your marriage. Typically you will receive a certificate of completion at the end of the course.

One-one-one professional counseling- Probably the most traditional method of pre-marriage counseling, meeting with a professional counselor is a great way to ensure your counseling is specifically tailored to your relationship. This means you can tackle the issues or struggles that you believe have the potential to cause future problems or that you simply value enough to want to start working on before you get married. Plus, when you're meeting with a professional counselor you know your sessions are completely confidential.

Compatibility tests or questionnaires - Often given in conjunction with other types of premarital counseling, compatibility tests (while sounding intimidating) are simply assessments designed to find areas where you and your partner already have a strong foundation of respect and communication and to identify areas that may require you to revisit and spend more time discussing. These assessments aren't meant to be a pass or fail test, leaving you and your partner feeling discouraged if you didn't achieve perfect compatibility. Instead, you will most likely see them used as a resource to help facilitate your professional counseling by ensuring that you're addressing what most needs to be addressed in your relationship.

Generally, these tests will consist of questions that you and your significant other will answer separately (may often by in the form of "never, sometimes, always" questions or other related forms) and then reconvene with your results to see where you may need to work on compatibility. If you'd like to get an idea of what types of topics or questions you'll see on these premarital questionnaires there are a variety of examples online. A simple "premarital questionnaire" search will give you plenty of results. Just note that they there are a multitude of versions and you most likely won't find the exact one you'll be given online.

Group courses and discussion-While couples generally don't just rely on group counseling for their marriage preparation, it can be helpful to have larger group discussions-both with engaged couples and married couples-to be exposed to different perspectives and ideas. You and your partner may learn of new strategies for conflict-resolution you hadn't thought of or feel a sense of relief in knowing that you aren't alone in struggling with a certain issue.

Benefits of Premarital Counseling

The obvious benefit of counseling before marriage is that you and your partner are taking steps to ensure your marriage will be stable and happy and that you'll have the necessary skills to cope with issues that will arise. However, a more detailed look at the benefits of premarital counseling can help you decide if professional counseling is right for you and your partner.

Create mutual goals and resolutions for your marriage - you and your partner may have different ideas of what specifically will mean you've achieved a happy and successful marriage. By discussing beforehand what you both hope to get out of your marriage you can determine a few resolutions that combine what you both want and give you common goals to work toward what you both believe in.

Understand, adapt to, and improve communication styles - Yes, that's quite a mouthful. But what it boils down to is you and your partner will better understand the strengths and weaknesses of your own and each other's communication styles and how to adapt to them to ensure that you'll be able to successfully talk through potential problems instead of ignoring them or arguing about them with no idea how to actually resolve the conflict.

Heading off potential conflicts before they become a problem - Do you know you have trouble saving money and that it drives your partner crazy? Premarital counseling will give you a chance to get issues like this and more out in the open before you say "I do." Often couples will avoid talking about issues they have, choosing to believe that in the glow of newlywed life they'll simply go away. This is the exact opposite of setting yourself up for a successful marriage. Instead, pre-marriage counseling will help you work through these issues now and help you understand that your differences don't need to lead to larger problems.

Dismiss marriage anxiety - For some people no matter how much they love their significant other, the thought of a lifelong commitment can still be cause for some anxiety. If you or your partner is dealing with this anxiety premarital counseling would be a great option for you. You can confront possible causes for the anxiety and work through them so that you both feel much more reassured that marriage will be a positive next step for your relationship.

How to make your premarital counseling successful

If you and your spouse decide that professional premarital counseling is for you there are ways you can help ensure you get the most benefit out of the experience. These include:

• Understand it will be challenging and it will cause you to discuss and face some issues that you'd rather leave alone-this is how you and your partner will grow in your relationship!
• Don't try to "cheat" or downplay thoughts and opinions to make it seem like you and your significant other are completely compatible-this completely ignores the point of the counseling, which is to face issues head on.
• Let go of the idea of "winner" and "loser" and instead embrace the idea that you're both on equal playing fields (even if you're discussing communication and one of you is the queen of the silent treatment).
• Respect that time with your counselor is a "safe zone" and that what you discuss with your counselor can't be fuel for future arguments or "I told you so" moments.
• Don't share what you discuss in counseling with anyone-even your closest friends and family members. What you discuss in counseling is solely for the ears of your counselor and partner, spreading that around will only break trust.

12 TOPICS YOU NEED TO DISCUSS BEFORE GETTING MARRIED

By Dr. Jim Walkup

Ever wonder what you need to talk about before you get married?  As a marriage counselor offering premarital counseling for many years, I have selected these as the most important topics along with questions for you to explore before you walk down the aisle. Trouble discussing any of these issues might suggest to you that sitting down with a premarital counselor could be helpful.  Don’t hesitate to start off on the right foot as you build your relationship to last a lifetime.

If I can be of help, please don’t hesitate to reach out, especially if you’re in the NYC, Midtown Manhattan or Westchester areas of New York. You can contact me directly at 914-548-8645. I’m happy to offer you a free consultation to explore what we can do together.

1. Meaning of Your Marriage Commitment

A. Describe what commitment means to you as you make plans to walk down the aisle?
B. Of all of the persons in your life that you have met and could have married, why are you choosing your partner?
C. What attracted you to your partner initially and what do you believe your partner will help you become?

2. Your Life Long Goals

A. What do you hope to achieve in the near future and the distant future regarding your career?
B. How do you plan to care for your community alone or separately?
C. Do you hope to leave a legacy after you die?

3. Your Mutual Expectations

A. What do you expect from a marital partner regarding emotional support during exciting times, sad times, periods of illness and job loss?
B. Will you set aside one night just to be together alone to catch up with each other and have fun?
C. What size house is important and in what kind of neighborhood do you hope to live in both now and in the future?
D. Are you both clear how much alone time the other needs?
E. How long does your partner need to spend with friends separately and together?
F. Do you agree with how much time is appropriate to give to work?
G. Do you both expect to support the family financially and will that be different when kids arrive?
H. Are you both comfortable with the salary differential between you?
I. How will you deal with times when one or both of you has reached a midlife career point, and you need to change some aspects of your life?

4. Your Living Arrangements

A. How do you plan to live together?
B. Where will you live after the arrival of children?
C. How do you determine if a new career path or job is reason enough to move?
D. Do you hope to live in the same house or area for a long time?
E. Will you need to be close to your parents either as you get together now or as they get older?

5. Will you have children and if so how many?

A. When do you plan to start a family?
B. How far apart would you want your kids to be in age?
C. Would abortion ever be acceptable before or after that?
D. What kinds of philosophies did your parents have about child raising and do you agree or disagree?
E. How do each of you intend to shape your children’s values
F. What kinds of punishment are appropriate or not appropriate?
G. What kinds of expectations do you each have about money spent on toys, clothes, etc.

6. Money

A. Will you have separate or joint checking accounts or both?
B. If you do have different accounts, who will be responsible for which expenses?
C. Who will pay the bills?
D. Do you agree to have full financial disclosure about each of your personal financial situation at all times?
E. How will strong disagreements about spending money be resolved?
F. Is there any debt that either partner has incurred before the marriage (ex. college or graduate school loans or credit card debt).
G. What amount of available money does each of you need to have to feel comfortable?
H. Will there be a savings plan for the first house?
I. Do you plan to keep trading houses as you can afford it?
J. How much credit card debt or home equity loan debt is acceptable?
K. Agreement about taking care of the financial needs of parents if likely?
L. Do you plan to send your kids to private or parochial school?
M. What will be the plans for children’s college education?
N. When do you hope to begin saving for retirement?
O. Will you use a financial planner?
P. Who will complete the taxes?

7. Parents and In-laws

A. How much time does each of you need to spend with your parents and how much do you expect your partner to join you?
B. How do you plan to spend the holidays?
C. What will be the holiday expectations of each of your parents and how will you deal with those expectations?
D. What kind of support do you expect from your partner when the parents are putting pressure on you?
E. Is it OK for either of you to talk with parents about the problems of the relationship?
F. What kind of relationship do you expect your kids to have with your parents?
G. Do you anticipate that you will ever want a parent to live with the two of you when you grow old?

8. Gender Role Expectations

A. What did your parents model for you concerning who did what in the family?
B. Did you feel that was fair and do you expect something different?
C. Does each of you have some preferences that might be unrelated to gender?
D. How will you deal with household or yard maintenance? How will you divvy up these responsibilities or hire someone?
E. Do both of you expect to work if you have children?
F. When the children get sick, how do you decide who stays home with them?

9. Do you agree on issues around erotic moments together?

A. How often do you want to enjoy an intimate evening with each other?
B. How do you intend to resolve differences in sexual preferences?
C. Can you work out an agreement about how to deal with differences in frequency of sexual desire?
D. Are there certain things that are clearly off limits?
E. Do you agree to talk about your sexual concerns at a time when you both are feeling creative and relaxed and not during sex?

10. How will you resolve heated conflicts?

A.  What can you learn about how your partner likes to deal with conflict based on their experience in their family of origin.
B. What feels comfortable to each of you, as your partner gets upset?
C. Can either of you ask for a timeout to calm down and be creative in your problem-solving?
D. What rituals will you develop to reach out to each other after a big fight?

11. Spiritual Life

A. What does spirituality mean to each of you?
B. What kind of participation do you expect in each other in some form of spiritual community?
C. How will you share what means something to you with them?
D. Will your children be expected to attend any regular services or religious education?
E. Will the children go through certain rituals such as baptism, christening, first communion, confirmation, bar or bat mitzvah?

12. Agreement about extramarital relationships/affairs

A. Do you want to establish from the beginning that affairs are not an option?
B. Do you agree that affairs of the heart are equal to a sexual infidelity?
C. Will you talk to your partner about someone that you feel drawn to as a colleague or erotically since this can build the bond between you and your partner rather than the outside person?
D. Will you commit to never talking to a person of the opposite sex (except a therapist or clergy) about your relationship with your partner since this builds a bond outside of your relationship?

AS WE EULOGIZE KOFI ANNAN 80, UGANDA'S LEADERS SHOULD PICK A LEAF FROM A MODEL SON OF AFRICA.

"Kofi Annan, the first black African Secretary General has died aged 80 in Switzerland his aides said. He passed away peacefully on Saturday, August 18, 2018 after a short illness".

Annan served two terms as UN Chief from 1997 to 2006, and was awarded a Nobel Peace Prize in 2001 for humanitarian work for his efforts. He later served as UN Special Envoy for Syria, leading efforts to find a peaceful solution to the conflict.

The Kofi Annan Foundation in a statement announcing his death, he was described as 'a global statesman and a deeply committed internationalist who fought throughout his life for a fairer and more peaceful world. "Whenever there was suffering or need, he reached out and touched many people with his deep compassion and empathy".

The career diplomat died in hospital in the Swiss city of Bern. He had been living near Geneva for several years.

"Anna's wife, Nane and three children Ama, Kojo and Nina were by his side during his last days", the Kofi Annan Foundation said.

Kofi Annan was a son of Ghana and he felt special responsibility towards Africa. He was committed to many African developments.

Ghanaian President Nana Akufo Addo has ordered flags to be flown at half - mast across the country and in Ghana's diplomatic missions across the world for seven days starting Monday, August 20, 2018.

The Ghana President called the Late Annan "One of our greatest compatriots".

In 2015 Kofi Annan said, "After 40 years with the United Nations, I have learned that healthy democratic societies are based on three pillars: peace and security, sustainable development, the rule of law and respect of human rights.

In an interview with BBC's HardTalk to mark his 80th birthday in April, Mr. Annan acknowledged the UN's shortcomings, saying it "Can be improved, it is not perfect but if it didn't exist, you would have to create it".

Kofi Annan described his greatest achievement as the Millennium Development Goals which for the first time set global targets on issues such as poverty and child mortality.

"Kofi Annan was a guiding force for good. It is with profound sadness that I learned of his passing ... In these turbulent and trying times, he never stopped working to give life to the values of the United Nations Charter. His legacy will remain a time inspiration for all of us," United Nations Secretary General - Antonio Guterres.

The Nelson Mandela Foundation mourns the passing of Kofi Annan.

"A very honourable and humble person! Inspirational Statesman and great UN Secretary General during a tumultuous time of upheavals in history! RIP Kofi Annan," Jaime Gunn.

"A life well lived and a life worth celebrating," Esther Metto.

"Thank you Sir for all you have done for the betterment of humanity. May God bless your soul. Amen," Chima Onwuama.

"Such infectious smiles. He was a true son of mother earth. Rest in Peace Kofi Annan. The world mourns for you, but will for ever live as we continue in your footsteps. Peace is what you lived for and in peace you shall rest," Amb. Herbert B Bangura.

"A great leader, May his soul rest in peace," Moqaddas Farah.

"Very sad to hear that. He was a wealth for the humanity. May his soul rest in peace," Midale Nonn.

"Great man, he left behind a great legacy for Africa, May his soul rest in peace," Janet Ongole.

"Kofi Annan - A man of peace in a world of wars," Uzor Irechukwu.

Annan was not immune to criticism. His critics blamed him for the UN's failure to halt the genocide in Rwanda in the 1990's when he was head of the Organization's Peace Keeping Operations.

May the good Lord comfort his family.

KOFI ANNAN, YOU HAVE LIVED A LIFE FOR THE BETTERMENT OF HUMANITY.

MAY THE GOOD LORD REST YOUR SOUL IN PEACE THAT YOU ADVOCATED FOR WHILE ALIVE.

HIGH MALNUTRITION WORRIES AUTHORITIES IN UGANDA.

By ALEX TUMUHIMBISE

Kakumiro. Irene Mukyeshiwabo, a mother of five from Kalangara Village in Nkooko Sub-county, Kakumiro District, is living in distress over the health of her children. 
Mukyeshiwabo, is always moving back and forth from one health centre to another in search of treatment for her children. She is worried that her children may never grow like the rest. 
‘‘My children are always sick, they are very weak and I fear they may end up dying. Health workers tell me that I should feed them properly but where can I get the good food to give them?,” she asks. 
‘‘The only food we have is maize, which I just prepare and give the children without sauce because we don’t have beans,’’ she adds.

Ms Evelyn Kusiima, the Bunyoro Sub-region’s program manager for World Vision, says at least 33 per cent of children below five years in the area suffer from severe malnutrition. 
However, she says it is attributed to other factors other than shortage of food. She expresses concern that despite sufficient food in homes, many children are still malnourished.
‘‘I have visited many families in this area and found out that people have food but I wonder why 33 children in every 100 are severely malnourished. We need to wake up and help our people to fight this,’’ Mr Kusiima says.
She thinks women are not breast feeding their babies long enough.

“Women should breast feed their children right away from birth up to six months before introducing other foods,” she adds.
As a result, World Vision has intervened to mitigate severe children malnutrition by feeding the affected children on mixed dietary meals called PD-HEARPH (Positive Deviance Hearph) locally known as ekitoobelo.
She says under this programme, rehabilitating a child who has severe malnutrition is done using tools which include testing the child.

A severely malnourished child presents signs such as oedema, which is swelling of the child’s body caused by weight loss, and stunted growth or obesity.
‘‘Malnutrition can either be under-feeding or over-feeding. We tackle severe cases with a type of food which is called PD-HEARPH. We mix food of all nutrients, vitamins, salts, proteins, carbohydrates and fats in one meal to the child who is sick and his or her immunity is improved,’’ says Sensiyo Yikiriza, nutrition coordinator at World Vision in Kibaale. 
He adds that they monitor the growth of the child for about three month by doing tests on weight after which they continue feeding the child.

According to the 2016 Demographic and Health Survey, malnutrition is higher among children in rural areas accounting for about 30 per cent than urban areas standing at 24 per cent. 
Kakumiro District deputy chief administrative officer Joram Ssekitoleko Ssali urged all stakeholders to fight malnutrition.

editorial@ug.nationmedia.com

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT OF UGANDA.

Dear Hon. Members, the issue of identity is very important. Today, if you were to make a census of Ugandans whose name is William Kiwanuka, you would be surprised.

I have just made a search on Facebook and I counted 42 with that name.

I learnt that a son of our villagemate had died in London. The name of the son is Allan Mubiru. I tried a search on Facebook to see whether I could identify Allan Mubiru. I counted 47 people registered as Allan Mubiru!

As members of Parliament, do us a service. Originate a Private Members' Bill to help ease identity.

The Parliament of Uganda takes a lot of time in politicking, but with increasing population, identity of Ugandans is very important.

I am of the opinion that such a bill should stipulate that each Ugandan who is alive has a minimal of a name made of three parts: The Religious, the clan identity and any other.

I do not want to waste much time on this. It is obvious that it can ease identity.

In the photo is Late Allan Mubiru. A search on Facebook gave me 47 Allan Mubiru's!

May his soul rest in peace.